275: I Feel Faint

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This is not an unusual state for me, admittedly, as my life seems to be full (overfull?) of traumatic incidents.

This one (this trauma) was worse than usual for reasons I will explain,

You will not be surprised that this event was caused by ….. the vet (damn, blast, spit, curse).  I had to go for my annual checkup (what some people call an MOT, I believe).

She (for some reason all the many vets at my pracrtce are attractive, young females) pulled, prodded, poked and pummelled all over my body. (Notice the alliteration there - I’m quite proud of that,)  (Incidentally I was about to use the word ‘girls’ but I read somewhere recently that I’m not allowed to use words like ‘girls’ and ‘lads’ anymore. …. No, I don’t know why either.  I don’t know whether to give up using ‘offensive’ language or give up reading.)

However, I digress. Back to my trauma.   After all this physical torture, the vet stuck a very large needle in me and tried to take out all my blood.  Luckily, I managed to hypnotise her and she only managed to get a small amount. 

Then she filled in my report card and returned me to John snd Phil who were waiting patiently (though I was the patient) in the waiting room with other owners and their pets who were all in line for the torture mill.

Notice it takes two people to take me to the vet. They have to occupy themselves  while I am subjected to my horror.  I imaging:

“I spy with my little eye… something beginning with ‘D’ “

“Dog?”

“Are you cheating?”

Evidently, a few days, later John got a text saying my blood was normal,

The cheek of it!

My blood is very special and very precious - but I prefer it to be retained in my body, not distributed to labs and test centres around the globe (well Leeds anyway).

Sorry, every time I type a ’(’ I know I am distracted and digressing again  - but it’s just the way my brain works.